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October 2011

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5 Dating Tips – What Not To Do

Written by , Posted in Dating, Gloria

It’s not a huge secret amongst friends, but while I’m great at giving relationship advices, I personally suck at dating. I haven’t dated in over 10 years, but as life would have it, I’m suddenly thrown into the whole dating game in my mid-20s. It’s been so pathetic that my male cousin describes the situations I get myself into as “discombobulated turd salads.” He even told me that there is no way that he can “be better at being a chick than you (me).” That’s how bad I am at dating. So from my limited bumbling experience, here is a list of 5 things I’ve done so far and have totally backfired:

1) Do not use social media to stalk the guy. While it’s so tempting to learn about the guy through his Facebook or Twitter profiles, it will come across as creepy if you reveal that yes, you already know what he’s up to before he tells you. Half of the fun of meeting a new guy is learning about his background through casual conversations. Don’t ruin that fun by pretending to be surprised when he reveals little tidbits that you already know through Facebook stalking!

2) Do not ask every single guy friend for advice. This only serves to confuse and vex you even more. I had one guy tell me to act flirty, but add “just kidding” to everything I say. Another guy told me to act bipolar, but only after securing the date. The only problem was that he failed to mention the “after securing the date” part until much later, and irreversible damage had already been done.

3) Do not publish anything about the guy on your social media accounts. With Facebook automatically publishing every little thing in that little blue Timeline box, you never know who is reading what. Pretend like he doesn’t exist if that’s what it takes. Yes, I get it, we’re girls and we like to gab and share every little detail about a cute guy. Save that for IMs, DMs, and even long emails. In essence, keep it private.

4) Do not obsess and over analyze every conversation. It’ll only serve to drive you mad. Dating is about having fun and enjoying yourself. It just doesn’t make sense to read through old texts and beat yourself up for making what you believe is a mistake. If he doesn’t respond the way you expected, oh well!

5) Do not automatically assume that everyone is gay. Through my line of work, most of the men I meet are gay. Just because a guy is well dressed, articulate, witty, charming, and knows his way around West Hollywood, he still may be straight. Don’t get hung up about the sexual orientation of a guy. If he does happen to be gay, take it as a practice round. If he is straight, then woohoo!

In short, trust your instincts and be yourself. It’s so simple for me to write that, but trust me, I know that it’s the most difficult thing to actually do! I find it hard to believe that there is a guy out there that will find the fact that I snort when I laugh hilarious, that I have a penchant for fart jokes, and that I get completely obsessive compulsive about the little things. I do feel so hopeless when it comes to dating.

Pursebuzzers, what tips do you have for the newly single gal who has never dated as an adult?

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