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Everyone has been there done that but have you been trying to work on yourself? I use to find myself pining and obsessing over the wrong things after a break up but not any more. After years of being an “expert” on the topic of dating and being the dumpee I have found that there are little things you can do to make it better for you during this hard time.

1)Don’t talk about it to everyone you know. Only talk about it to close friends and family who are going to give you true and honest advice. Who knows.. you might get back with them so you don’t want to talk trash and end up regretting it later.  I personally haven’t ever gotten back with an X but that is just me. I just have seen it time and time again so keep that in mind.

2)Write a letter to them but NEVER give it to them. Thank them for everything and write all the things you didn’t like about them. This will become your subconscious list for the next person who enters into your life. Lists do work. They work when you don’t want to waste your time with people who aren’t right for you. But keep an open mind because sometimes things you thought you’d hate are the things you love  most about them. But that didn’t go so well for Sandra Bullock .. but on second thought I guess it did cause she is dating Ryan Reynolds now.   Don’t hold back either!! Get it all out!!

3)Don’t turn down any events as a newly single person. If your friends invite you places go and do it. Even if you don’t want to be there just going through the motions will help get you out of the funk. Don’t think about your X .. just think about “The Here and Now.”  It may be hard but it truly does help you move on with your life. If you focus on getting ready and hanging out with friends thats a few less hours of obsessing over something that already happened.

4)Refrain from any immediate serious dating. Of course there are the few lucky ones who do find the right partner like on “Good Luck Chuck” but not all of us are that lucky so keep an open mind and just have fun. Go on a bunch of bad dates and have fun talking about it with friends. These will be entertaining stories you will remember for the rest of your life.  You will gotta focus on these dates as trial and error and learn more about what you want. Go home and start adding to the list of things you do and don’t want.  If you don’t have time for this then meet them in group settings where the pressure is off and you can size them up while still hanging out with your besties.

5)You need closure. I once dated a guy and never truely got over him for years.. I mean years.. we are talking 5 years. Sure I dated but something didn’t feel right. But then one day in college I saw him again and talked to him ..got my closure and never looked back.  So you don’t need to have closure right away but its nice to have it. So if you can talk to them and get that last bit of info so that you can move on with your life. Sometimes the littlest thing can mean the world to you. But remember when you get that closer from them .. do it after you have hung out with your friends and had fun. Because the last thing you want to do is be desperate and beg to come back.   This will only give them the upper hand and they may even begin to play games with you. But if you are strong and ready to move on no matter what nothing they can do will break you down.

In life everyone experiences love and heartache. It is up to you to be strong and know that life does move on and you can love again.  Here is one of my favourite songs about breakups. It is just so powerful<3<3

Do you have any advice on break ups?Share it with us.